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Found him. Next cycle eh? I’m gonna go drink some wine and eat a whole lot of cheese.

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9 days past ovulation….

Lordy me, all this second guessing is killing me. 2 days ago I was certain it was all over red rover. Then yetserday and today my temperature has started to climb. Normally I would have spotting beginning today and I don’t BUT the Clomid could have done that. My usual breakfast turned my stomach this morning so of course I got excited but really, it could have been anything. Cramps are on and off so could go either way. I need to give up on the second guessing and try and find some patience. Anyone got any to spare?

On a positive note, I have 4 or 5 wonderful women coming over tonight for dinner, cheese and wine. Yum! Pretty sure no matter what today brings I will be surrounded by the right women to help me through it. I’m very blessed.


7 days post ovulation…..

Not holding much hope for this cycle, my temperature has dropped the last 2 days. Expecting spotting to commence Saturday.

Luckily, I already have a girls night in planned for Saturday night, good company, wine and cheese. What more could I want?

Disappointed.  And disappointed in myself for allowing myself to get so hopeful, I really should know better by now.

6 days post ovulation and counting….

The crazies have set in…oh was that a cramp? Could it be implantation? Oh my are boobs sore? Could just be that I’ve been squeazing them every 2 seconds to check for tenderness….Am I nauseous? Am I tired? Oh am I pee-ing more than usual? Oh the obsessive fun of the two week wait.

So far, I have been quite restrained, for me anyway, and have managed to not test in any way shape or form since my first negative OPK after my positive OPK (follow that?). Those who have followed my journey with babes 1 and 2 would be astounded at my restraint. Those who don’t know me will be thinking I’m a whack job, welcome to the obsessive compulsive side of TTC!

What is making this month a bit harder is that it feels like the first “real” chance we’ve had since starting this journey for a 3rd time. Despite all the cycles, medication, scans and pee-ed on tests, this time, is the first time we’ve had a little bit of advance warning that ovulation was imminent. And is only the 2nd time in this stage of our journey that we have caught a positive OPK. Every other cycle has either slowly wound to a close, or suddenly ended with the unexpected arrival of good old Aunt Flo.

So, 7dpo, pretty sure people have had positives that early, pretty sure…..

5 days past ovulation and counting…..

We had some lovely friends over for a quiet lunch to celebrate Australia Day today. They are 10 weeks pregnant with their first baby so babies were the topic of the day. I got out Jack’s keepsake box to show them his ultrasound photos and sifted through a few of the other items in there.

It’s amazing how quickly you forget. Jack is now a tall, slim, almost 3 year old chatterbox with the most amazing, cheeky, loving personality. Seeing the tiny little outfit he wore home (00000!)
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The weeny little name tags that fit on his wrist and ankle
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And the beautiful 4D ultrasound images of my precious Lew bear:

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The most magical journey. So hard to remember my rambunctious boys as the tiny babes they once were. The magic of growing a baby never fails to astound me. You mean, that tiny little thing grew inside ME?? I made that??? You sure?? I know I’m crafty but geez!

I’m so excited for our friends as they embark on this journey for the first time, excited and envious and wishing, hoping and praying we are blessed again.

Last night, at 1 day past ovulation, I decided to have a bath before bed. We have a lovely big corner spa in our second bathroom, unfortunately at the moment the hoses aren’t connected properly to the spa and the water leaks out of the jets. So when we use the bath we only have a shallow bath which is fine considering we’re under water restrictions at the moment.

Our bathroom has cathedral ceilings with a long narrow window across the very top. Last night it was dusk while I was having my bath and I relaxed back watching the clouds rush past the window. As I look around at the hideous pink walls surrounding me I had a bit of a moment and thought “My daughter will be born in this room”.

Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe it was the giddy influence of pink walls. But it was special, and it felt wonderful. A baby girl born into my own hands, in my own home, what could be nicer?

In approx 14 days I should know if we had success this cycle, and if so, it will be approximately 9 months until I can tell you if my little moment had merit. Fingers crossed!

I’m on cycle day 19 today and it looks like our back tracking gamble has paid off. 18 days of Metformin and 5 days of Clomid and I’ve got a positive OPK.

So if I’m not around for the next little while, it’s not because I don’t love you, it’s because I’m busy, very very busy.

Fingers crossed!

I start Clomid tomorrow. So if my posts in the coming weeks seem a little moody, angry or, dare I say it, irrational, then you know why. You’ve been warned.

Does your child do something that you know you really should be discouraging but you let them do it anyway?

Jack (2.5) has taken to sneaking out of bed at night, generally around 10-11pm when I’m still awake. He comes out to the rumpus room, climbs up onto the arm of my recliner and snuggles in. Sometimes he drifts back off to sleep while we’re cuddling, others he watches a little bit of tv with me (generally cooking!) before I tuck him back into bed (or let him snuggle up with hubby and I in our bed).

Of a morning he normally wakes about 5.30-6am, rather than coming in and demanding I make hsi breakfast, he jumps into bed with me and goes back to sleep.

I know night time wakings are something I should be discouraging but it’s become my favourite time of day. The house is quiet and for once he isn’t talking my ear off. I get to enjoy lovely snuggles with my darling boy who spends almost every waking hour moving! And THAT is worth any troubles we may have later on.

A new cycle began yesterday, there’s a nice synchronicity to that, new year, new cycle and we even have a new plan.

We visited our fertility specialist several weeks ago and together we decided that we would take a step back and try Clomid and Metformin. I was finding injecting for 40+ days (low dose to try and avoid over stimming) and the scans every few days very stressful and draining. Plus the side effects of the Gonal-F for me was making it incredibly difficult to function properly as a wife and mother, there was grumpiness, impatience and snapping ahoy! We wanted a break but didn’t want to stop altogether so Clomid and Metformin became the new plan.