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3 posts in 1 day, you’ll be getting terribly sick of me soon!

Hurting tonight, hurting so bad. I’d almost forgotten just how much this hurts. And it seems silly for it to be hurting so bad now, why now? We’ve been trying for #3 for about 12 months now. But this cycle was the first month we truly had hope, that we started to let ourselves think of all those good “what if”s. We invested ourselves heart and soul. Stupid. We should know better.

Now we hurt. And cry. And the stupidest of things set it off. Hurts. Aches. So hard not to give in to the thoughts of well maybe we just aren’t meant to be parents to 3 children. Maybe there isn’t another babe out there waiting for us like our hearts are telling us. Perhaps we’re just being greedy and should be happy with the 2 precious darlings we have and not long for more. But how do you switch your heart off? How do you stop that deep desire, that longing, that need, how do you stop the yearning? In theory, stopping would be the easy option, no more hurt and pain month after month. But it would just be replaced with the heart ache of yearning, of always wondering if the next cycle would have been the one.

So for now, we do what we can. We hurt. We try. We wait. And we try to be patient, try to trust that there is a little soul out there waiting for us. They’re just not ready for us yet. Maybe soon. Maybe not. But we’ll wait. We might not wait with patience, but we’ll wait.

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Wow. 3.20pm and today has already been one of the most craptacular in a while.

Started last night really, boys absolutely did. not. want. to go to sleep. No way, no how. Nappies were taken off and thrown several times, wee fella had a huge over tired crying hissy fit. And hubby and I had a blow up. By the time I got the kids settled for the night hubby was in bed so we didn’t get to have our kiss and make up.

I didn’t get to sleep until after minute and expected the boys to sleep in after being awake so late. Wishful thinking. Up before 7am, fun! So then I had over-tired mischief makers on my hands. By 10am I was trying to do washing and they were trying to cook. With my bag of bakers flour. All down the hallway. Put them into their room so I could clean it. Specifically told Jack to not touch nappies. Came back in to 2 nude boys and joy of joys, Lew’s nappy was soiled.

Now, all this is on top of the fact that while Spot has arrived, full flow has not so I’m in this hideous limbo land that is driving me a wee bit insane. I’m hormonal, sleep deprived and heartbroken, so yes, I’m a barrel of laughs to be around.

The topper to my day came about 15 minutes ago. Hubby got an email from his aunty letting him know his cousin’s wife had a baby yesterday. Their 3rd. A little girl after 2 boys. Felt like a kick in the guts.

Vodka needed.

I was just doing my usual morning blog check, and read about Ealesy doing Pay It Forward http://ealesy.blogspot.com/ and thought it was a great idea.

I figure this will be good for me on many levels! 1. something to keep my mind off trying to conceive 2. force me to get my creative juices flowing again, I’ve been lacking inspiration of late 3. Help me clean out some of my stash and 4. The fun fun of gift giving!

So dear readers, the first 3 people to leave a comment here will receive a handmade gift from me sometime in the next 3 months. I’ve put a shorter deadline on it than Ealesy, purely because I’m a terrible procrastinator, so the shorter the better! The gift could be something I’ve sewn, knitted, crafted or baked.

So get commenting and I’ll get creating 😀

I don’t know about you, but I always have trouble deciding on what to have for lunch. I generally don’t think of it until the kids are nagging to be fed “I honghee mummy!”. Lunch then ends up being whatever I can make in 3 minutes or less, sandwiches, vegetable sticks, cheese cubes, fruit etc, pretty basic and boring.

So today when 11am rolled around I started the dreaded “what’s for lunch?”. I’d spent the morning reorganising my freezer and preparing the meal plan for the next month and was already perusing Taste.com.au for ideas when I stumbled across  a recipe for Corn and Zucchini fritters.  I can’t work out how to post a link so here’s the recipe and if you want to see it in situ then just go to www.taste.com.au and search for Corn and Zucchini fritters.  They’re the only ones, you should find them 😉

Preparation Time

5 minutes

Cooking Time

15 minutes

Ingredients (serves 4)

  • 310g tin corn kernels, drained
  • 150g zucchini, grated
  • 2 eggs, lightly beaten
  • 1/3 cup milk
  • 1 cup self-raising flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
  • salt and cracked black pepper
  • chopped tomato, to serve
  • chopped avocado, to serve
  • coriander leaves, to serve

Method

  1. Whisk together the corn, zucchini, eggs and milk. Gradually stir in the sifted flour and cumin, salt and pepper.
  2. Heat a little oil in a non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Using a tablespoon, place heaped spoonfuls of the mixture in the pan and cook in batches. Using a spatula, turn them once, until golden and cooked through. Drain on paper towel, cover and keep warm as you cook remaining fritters.
  3. Serve the cakes with chopped tomato, avocado, coriander leaves and sweet chilli sauce.

Now for my variations.  I used 2 medium sized zucchinis, and a couple  of handful of frozen corn.   I had some basil, parmesan and macadamia dip left over from Saturday night so I put a spoon of that in too.  I didn’t bother with the salsa and served them with a bit of greek yoghurt for Jack and tomato sauce for hubby and I. 

It took 30 minutes to get it from raw ingredients to everyone sitting eating and they were delicious.  Definitely a make again, maybe hubby will be able to make them next time 😉