Clomid and I have a love-hate relationship. I love because it has given me 2 beautiful children and will hopefully give me another. Hate it for the side effects and just generally hate that I need to take it to have children.

I don’t get side effects while I’m taking the Clomid, the side effects for me generally hit after I ovulate. I get short tempered, moody, irrational, illogical and just plain bitchy. I sink into horrible moods and find it so hard to haul myself back out of them. It’s generally 2 weeks of arguments and crying and whinging. Fun times.

It is a HUGE strain, a huge strain on family life, on my mental health and on my marriage. I hate being so snappy and mean, that’s not the Megan I know or want to be.

At the end of each cycle I do think “is all this hurt really worth it?”. But if we stop, then we’d be dealing with a whole other stress, we’d be dealing with the grief of feeling our family isn’t complete and not being able to do anything about it.

It’s a hard road, there’s lots of re-evaluating going on all the time. The end result will be worth it. I can see that in the 2 darlings who bring me so much joy.