There’s a whole lot of guilty feelings tied up with the good ones this pregnancy.

Guilt for those that have been left behind – for my friends and acquaintances who are still trying and hoping for their precious blessing.  It’s so hard knowing that people who would make the most wonderful parents are struggling to get there while here I am blessed with another 2.

Mother-guilt, oh there’s a touch of mother-guilt in everything you do that isn’t directly for your children.  I am a hideously boring mummy at the moment, most days spent on the couch feeling miserable and sorry for myself.  Patience levels are low and crankiness is high.  Not a great mix with 2 energetic toddlers.

Guilt at being a crappy wife – my husband goes to work, then comes home and takes over the children, tidies the house, cooks dinner, runs out to get anything I’m craving and puts up with a lot of hormones and tears.  He’s done all this with much grace but it is still hard not to feel guilty as he cleans while I lay on the couch.

Fears – whole lot of fears in the package too, can I bake these babies long enough to ensure they’re strong and healthy at birth?  Am I eating enough to give them all the nutrients they need?  How am I going to cope with 2 toddlers and 2 newborns?  Will I miss out on important parts of the boys toddlerhood while I’m in the newborn fog?

I’m finding it hard to switch off my brain at the moment, so there are lots of thoughts and lots of tears, I guess the reality of 2 new babies on their way is slowly starting to set in.